a teenage girl talking about things parents think are a big deal

Things Parents Think Are a BIG Deal // by Poppy

As a teenager I do some things most parents might think is a big deal, but really they are not. I believe there are definitely some things that should not be considered normal things that teenagers do but for the most part, we are just young and learning as we go. The main things that my mom is pretty strict about but shouldn’t be a big deal are Snapchat, energy drinks, Instagram, devices in my room, piercings, curfew, and last but not least, sleepovers. 

Things Parents Think Are a BIG Deal

Lisa’s Response: Teens are a whole new world! When my kids were little and I’d watch my friends or sisters parent their teens, I totally judged them in my mind on being too lenient with their kids, thinking I’d never do that. Haha, I get it now. Pick your battles!!! Not everything has to be an issue.

Pay attention to what they are doing. Get to know their friends! Create a home teens want to spend time in aka a well-stocked fridge/pantry and endless beverage options:) Be willing to drive your kids and their friends anywhere. Talk to your kids. Create boundaries. Listen to your teens more than you lecture them. Avery will be 16 this week and Poppy is 14. I’m just doing my best to create a balance between mom and friend. Not friend as in I want them to think I’m cool (okay, I kind of do:)) but a “friend” they feel safe talking to and a decent option to hang out with when their plans fall through.

SNAPCHAT

The first thing that I want to bring up is Snapchat. I got snapchat in the middle of this summer and before I had it my mom thought it was the worst thing ever. That might sound dramatic but whenever Avery and I would ask about it she would tell us how it is unnecessary and not safe. Now, after having the app for a good amount of time I understand why people use it so much. It is the best way to keep in contact with people while making plans and just for group chats with your best friends. 

Lisa’s Response: I still don’t like the idea of added social media for kids. However if you know your kids passwords to their apps and phone, it’s less scary for me. Still not a fan of snapchat though.

ENERGY DRINKS 

Another thing that most parents don’t love are energy drinks like red bull, monsters, rockstars, and many many more. As a teenager you hang out with friends a lot, stay up late, and use a lot of energy throughout the day so sometimes you might need a boost of energy. 

Lisa’s Response: as you all know by now, I am addicted to caffeine. I don’t allow my kids to drink them because their brains are not fully developed. Also why use stimulants at such a young age? They already have the kind of energy we as parents wish we had!

INSTAGRAM

Another topic that I think many parents might over-exaggerate about is Instagram. Instagram can be used for good and bad. I understand we as humans get caught up on the comparison game. Instagram doesn’t effect me like it does many. Maybe because of my moms job and since I was little I saw first hand the difference between reality and the small glimpse she shows on Instagram. I for sure think people should take breaks when needed and unfollow people that don’t bring positive vibes to their life. 

Lisa’s Response: My kids have had Instagram accounts since they were little, Avery & Poppy gained access to theirs around age 12, with limits and the same rules as I have with Snapchat as far as passwords go. Goldie doesn’t have access to hers or any social media. I agree with Poppy that I have taught my kids very early on that what you see on Instagram is not the full story of someones life. I teach them that EVERYONE struggles in some way or another and that we all have different seasons of happiness and of trials. No one is exempt.

LAPTOPS 

The next thing that I think my mom cares a little too much about is when I have my laptop in my room at night. When I am watching a tv show I like to do it at night while I’m comfy before bed and maybe the rest of my family doesn’t want to watch the same thing. 

Lisa’s Response: I absolutely despise devices in bedrooms. When 80-90% of homework is digitally required, it makes this more of a challenge the older they get. All laptops and phones have to be turned off by 10pm (used to be 9). Lots of parental controls on their phones and laptops as well. In fact, Avery can’t even access Salty Lashes, haha! When I set her settings up I must have added a word or phrase that is used on my site somewhere and now she can’t access it. #oops

PIERCINGS 

Something that has just recently been becoming an issue is piercings. In my opinion, a few extra ear piercings is not that big of a deal. They are easy to do at home and can close up if you really don’t want them anymore. Sometimes it’s fun to have more ways to accessorize and earrings are a fun way to do it. 

Lisa’s Response: When I was Poppy’s age I started piercing my own ears as well. I ended up with 6 on one ear and 3 or 4 on the other. Had I known I’d be raising 4 daughters that I should be an example for, even during my teen years, I wouldn’t have done it. I do not think ear piercings are a big deal either, I just wish she would wait until she was 17 or 18. Poppy gave herself her 2nd and 3rd holes this summer and I was furious, then remembered my mom being upset with me when I did mine which only made me want to add more holes to my ears. Basically, this is a new one for me. Still trying to figure how I want to handle it.

CURFEW

Avery and I struggle with curfew. Sometimes it’s hard to get home on time after hanging out with your friends, especially when you are far away or the person driving you has to drop of others on the way home. Now I’m not saying that it’s ok to be home way past the time your parents tell you but sometimes it’s hard to be home at a very specific time. 

Lisa’s Response: Their curfew is 11pm and more often than not, they are home before then. On school nights its 9pm.

SLEEPOVERS 

When it gets to the point when you are going to be with your friends till late at night and then seeing them early in the morning you might as well sleepover. It’s much easier to not have to get rides back home and to the person’s house in the morning and we make so many memories during sleepovers because we can have girl talk and just have a good time.

Lisa’s Response: Gah, you all know by now I dislike sleepovers, for several reasons. Honestly, they are completely unnecessary! If they want to sleep at my house, fine. I just want to be aware what they are doing and where they are at all times #controllingmom You can read the original reasons HERE. I will say my parents were strict to the extreme and they started allowing us to sleep at our best friend’s houses when we were 16. They knew I was a good kid: I didn’t drink, I didn’t try drugs, I didn’t get into trouble with boys. Either that or they were older parents and I was the youngest so they gave up, haha!

Poppy Jane Harris dancing

the behind of a teenage girl with stars on her butt

WHITE TEE (wearing a small) – STAR JEANS (wearing a 24) – CONVERSE (go half size down) 

converse on avery and poppy harris while talking about things parents think are a big deal

teen style with jeans and stripped shirts

things parents think are a big deal include karate kicking the camera as pictured here

AVERY: TOP (wearing a XS) JEANS (wearing a 25) CONVERSEBELT 

POPPY: TEE (wearing a XS)JEANS (wearing a 25) – CONVERSEBELT 

 

9 Comments

  • Reply Katie September 8, 2019 at 11:09 AM

    I love your posts with your daughters. They help me so much in relating to my 13 year old sister. We are 23 years apart so sometimes I don’t feel relatability to her. These posts help me understand teenagers and what’s important to them these days. Thank you!

    • Reply Lisa Allen September 9, 2019 at 9:03 AM

      I’m so glad you like them! They have fun doing them too!

  • Reply Tara September 8, 2019 at 5:06 PM

    This was SO good! I loved hearing both perspectives and give insight to me as a mom of 2 boys that will bee teenagers in a few years.

    I am definitely more of a strict mom and need to do more research on social media!

    Thanks again!

    • Reply Lisa Allen September 9, 2019 at 9:04 AM

      Glad you liked this post. Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment. Have a great day!

  • Reply Anonymous September 8, 2019 at 5:38 PM

    I’m just gonna say it straight, with the acknowledgement of you are a great person and mother. My parents were very strict with me growing up and had a lot of the same
    rules. The strictness made me resent them, and I rebelled in ways that they couldn’t control (or couldn’t know about). I lost my virginity at a very young age because I didn’t know when another boy might like me again, or when my parents would let me hang out with one again. I regret it. I became very depressed as a kid because I didn’t get to do the things other kids got to do (like sleepovers, parties, or social media.) I didn’t trust my parents because I felt like they didn’t trust me, and it created a really unhealthy relationship way into my adulthood (Im nearly 30, and I still see a therapist about my over-controlling parents). I was good. I listened for the most part, never snuck out, never drank or did drugs, because I respected my parents. But I really think there’s an opportunity to empower your kids, so that they grow up knowing how to handle situations when you’re no longer hovering. I went wild when I went to college because the reigns were off. I didn’t even talk to my father for two years.

    It’s all about balance. They’re going to screw up at one point like any human, the important thing is they learn from the choices they make and become good people from it. You’re doing great, Lisa, and so are your kids.

    • Reply Lisa Allen September 9, 2019 at 9:06 AM

      Thanks for sharing your story. You are right, everyone makes mistakes and the goal is to learn from them! Thank you for taking the time to comment. Have a great week!

  • Reply Nimisha Ruparelia September 9, 2019 at 8:12 AM

    LOVEEEEEE <3 I'm 24 and still have a #controllingmom.

    • Reply Lisa Allen September 9, 2019 at 9:06 AM

      haha Nim! ps we LOVE all the new selects. x

  • Reply paige September 11, 2019 at 2:14 PM

    Love this post!!! I am a boy mom to tweens (well my third is a girl, and I will be too old to care/keep up like your parents, haha!). Do you ever worry that they’ll have a different log in to the social media apps, so they can avoid your monitoring?? I am so paranoid. Kids are smart! And do you have a favorite “tracking” device for their phone/laptop? Life360 is what I hear the most about – but i haven’t gotten one yet! Please share the one you like most, b/c i’m sure you’ve tried them all.

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